Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Ruth Kelly the apostate

Poor Ruth Kelly has been exposed as an apostate from Britain's very strict state religion, 'PoliticalCorrectitude'. Rather, she believes in something called 'Sin'. The Times is suitably appalled, as if it had been discovered that she has a penchant for bestiality. Turns out she thinks homosexuality is ... dread hush... wrong!

All was explained when it was discovered she belonged to a dangerous breakaway sect called 'The Roman Catholic Church'. This tiny sect has about 2 billion committed adherents, so its obviously some minority thing. Britian is aghast that a practising 'Roman Catholic' has managed to infiltrate the higher echelons of its government, while harboring such noxious views.

As Saint Denham of Labourtown says, 'It is obvious that the introduction of civil partnerships for gay people was one of the most significant and positive things this government has done.' (The Times, page 2, Wednesday May 10 2006) Absolutely right! A governments main responsibilities read:

1. Enabling gay/lesbian relationships
2. Promoting ministers who agree that enabling gay/lesbian relationships is GRRRRReeeeeaaaaaat!
3. Nice stuff for old people and the sick and the needy and stuff
4. ....
5. Thats about it
97. Defending the realm, relations with foreign powers and other trivial stuff

Fortunately, a knight in shining armour has come to save us from all this madness. His name is David Cameron! Hurrah! He'll cut through all the cant and the gibberish, and re-assert common sense and Christian ethics!

Wait a sec, oh noooooooooooo. He won't.

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